:OMG

Okay , so I hope I can be actively online back.
Its been awhile and my dad doesnt even bother to pay the bill anyway.
the F! word :)

So recently I've been thinking alot like I usually do .
I mean I'm still stuck in Kota Damansara doing completely nothing.
You know how it feels like when all your closed friends already went somewhere starting their new life ; college/university.
Yes! I didnt get Ipta/matriks/poly, you name it.
I wont go to Form 6 either .
My reason it just plain hard and I hate school rules.
So jyeah :)

So,I think Imma go for my last option in which Imma enter Ipts for the sake of myself.
And I'm still stuck with the same question,
"What course should I say"
I've been thinking and saying this thousands times.
I know,I know, cliche right?
But meh,there so many things offered but yet I can only pick one.
And I should be calculating the advantages and disadvantages of each.

So..
my mission today onlining for 3 hours in this full of rempits cybercafe is to do some surveys and check this and that.
Hopefully I'll make it,wish me luck :)

---
Okay enough with that,I want to talk about something that really bother me in my real life.
How my father can be totally unfair to us,the second family.
i do know that some of you might not know this but yeah,I'm born in second family.
And my father sucks in justice.
He's being a bit unfair when it comes to us.
Name it,
Financially, Love, Morales, Supports etc.

So yesterday ,
Me and my lil brother and his ex-wife (my mum,yeap )
were invited to go to their house cause my father did a big feast (wouldnt call it big cause there's just some squids,a rotten (lols) grilled stingray and cucumbers on the veggie side.
Meh, talk about big feast .
I loled there hard.
but rezeki kan ;)

My mum insisted me to go and she said that although we know how your father can be unfair to us in many ways but just go cause people already invited us.Actually my mum wasnt in the invitation.Then when she send us there suddenly my dad invited her,so yeah.

And when the first time I've entered their house since the last time maybe 4-5 years ago? and I was shocked and says "WAH!" .
Wanna know why?
cause everything changed.
like totally.
The house paint,the big mirror,new furnitures etc etc.
And what this? Air conditioned living hall?!
my goodness.

To tell you the truth,my empty and old house in KD is like less than normal.
I mean not that I'm not grateful or anything but what I'm trying to say here is that ,that just shows how unfair my dad is.
You know this year is the time which I'll be entering to college/uni life and too bad for me I didnt get Ipta and now I have to enter Ipts.
And also this year is the time when his eldest child,is going to marry (first family son.)
And guess what my dad say to me ,even before this and keep repeating the same thing.
"Jangan pergi kolej atau university mahal-mahal sangat.Kau masuk la Uitm ke. Abah kalau tau kau nak pegi kolej mahal,abah tak nak bayar."

And this kind of dad here,which hope that their kids can make him proud but never wanted to support us on anything expected that we can actually make him proud?
HELLO! How I wish you get reality slap from someone!

You know,when I was in form 3, I got straight As for it and he was the one who said to everyone ; See! my kid can make me proud! (HELLO and you wasnt the one who support me.My mum did.Not you,silly. )

Yeah,I had enough and I'm sick of it.
Youre lucky youre my only dad and my mum keep saying no matter how our parents treat us always remember, their the only parents we have.

Only God knows.