:OMG

If you noticed, I had never put any title on my blog posts. Perhaps I just feel that none suit to be put there or perhaps I just like to put blank there, so when people read my blog posts , they'll put their own title there. But today I'll put mine :)

Since the last time I posted here, I met the real world. Realized that I'm in the state of depression where it can be suicidal. But hey, dont take it seriously, I know I dont have the gut to do so. So no worry, oh please. Knew what is let go, let down and let me be happy. I should have never care about anyone but myself. In this world, truth cold fact is, you're on your own. You should not be dependent to anyone. Telling everyone your life stories will only end you up in being judge. You should know that, no one in this world will ever knew how you really feel because they were never in your shoes. It's like calling someone fat but what people doesn't know is that he/she is actually suffering from a chronic disease. People judge everyone from the outside. People would make fun of your life. So, dont trust anyone but yourself and if you believe in God, God too.

You know I went out yesterday with a friend of mine and I feel as if something hit me hard on my face and knock my head real bad. You must be wondering why. I think I've been living in this fake world for such a long time without I'm realizing it. You see, everytime I took a picture , I'll ended up editing it cause I want to feel perfect and be flawless but it's actually doesn't work that way. You are what you are. Why do people like me doesn't feel proud and grateful to have what we have now? Actually he told me that I dont looks the same like I was in my photos although he stressed out that he's not saying I'm ugly or what. But my small little heart itch to get the truth and finally figured it out even though he insisted that he's not lying after I forced him to just tell the truth.

I let go the person I love in my love life. If living with that person needs me to face doubts and pain in the heart and also being unhappy, I would prefer to let go. But it's okay, I didn't say it was all bad. Cause I believe it will teach me how to be stronger.

爱情真的会让一个人变笨。。在聪明的人也不例外。。。。爱的越深就会越来越迷失自己。。。为什么每个人都懂了。。但还是要去谈恋爱呢。。爱情就是个愚人的国度。。。。不能自拔。。也不懂的该怎么去退出。。。

我知道我的爱一直会存在…但现在也只能把对爱情的心情寄托在我的事业上了…爱情不能强求…如果若是有缘分…就算是在茫茫人海中我也是会遇见你的…

I have decided and I'm counting luck and days till almost end next year. I want to go travel alone somewhere. It be like my sweet escape to a place where probably no one I know would know where I've been to , who I met and what I've done. I want to be a perfect stranger who just go somewhere for a purpose of seeking eternal peace of mind. And if however you still wondering, I'll say its for me to know, and for you to find out. I just want to live for myself, for my religion and God.